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mark-s PRO Admin
Joined: 25 Nov 2007 Posts: 527 Location: nice
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject: Being British |
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Being British
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish Kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of anything Foreign.
Oh and...... Only in Britain... Can a pizza get to your house Faster
than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... Do supermarkets make sick People walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions While healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain.. Do People order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain.... Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to the Counters.
Only in Britain.. Do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on The
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage..
Only in Britain... Do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call Waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in The first place.
Only in Britain... Are there disabled parking places in Front of a
skating rink..
NOT TO MENTION... 3 Brits die each year testing of A 9v battery works
on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not Removing all pins from new
shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using Sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by Watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations Were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Cracker
pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of Plastic toys pulled
out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious Burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A Massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening Bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in Accidents involving out of Control
Scalextric cars.
And finally.......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst
throwing up into the toilet. |
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Dutchy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007 Posts: 345 Location: Northamptonshire, UK
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Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 7:05 pm Post subject: |
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lol God bless Britain! _________________
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Middenrat actual speed
Joined: 10 Aug 2007 Posts: 2260 Location: Location: Location.
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:46 am Post subject: |
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we are the greatest! _________________
Skin by Baino |
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Spanky_McCoy Dirty Deeds Done Cheap(ish)
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 1401 Location: Fortress Spanky
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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 7:55 am Post subject: |
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Let us not forget
Without Britain we wouldn't have
Sandwiches
Oscar Wilde
Jordan
Pop Idol
The Jeremy Kyle Show
Ok I'll shut up now _________________
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DaCheese
Joined: 05 Sep 2007 Posts: 1471 Location: GMR Towers, South Shropshire, UK.
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Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:27 pm Post subject: Re: Being British |
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mark-s wrote: | 5 Brits were injured last year in Accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars. |
Can't say I've ever heard of that happening before... _________________
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bunsenjetson
Joined: 12 Aug 2007 Posts: 1119 Location: Stuart Hall
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Posted: Sun Mar 09, 2008 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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Oscar Wilde was Irish ... that leaves Sandwiches, Jordan, Pop Idol and the Jeremy Kyle Show. wow. |
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Spanky_McCoy Dirty Deeds Done Cheap(ish)
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 1401 Location: Fortress Spanky
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Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 7:33 am Post subject: |
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bunsenjetson wrote: | Oscar Wilde was Irish ... that leaves Sandwiches, Jordan, Pop Idol and the Jeremy Kyle Show. wow. |
Yeah but he wrote in English and was a bit of a whoopsy
We did give the world pneumatic tyres and tarmacadam so we pretty much invented motor racing by my reckoning _________________
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HotSWAT
Joined: 30 Nov 2007 Posts: 670 Location: you know what..? I really don't know..
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Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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tarmacadam was made by a scottish chap, does that count? _________________
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Spanky_McCoy Dirty Deeds Done Cheap(ish)
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 1401 Location: Fortress Spanky
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Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:23 pm Post subject: |
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HotSWAT wrote: | tarmacadam was made by a scottish chap, does that count? |
Aye well us Scots count as British _________________
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Dutchy
Joined: 28 Oct 2007 Posts: 345 Location: Northamptonshire, UK
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Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:56 pm Post subject: |
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Frank Whittle invented the jet engine, shame that can't be used in motor racing _________________
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DaCheese
Joined: 05 Sep 2007 Posts: 1471 Location: GMR Towers, South Shropshire, UK.
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Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 8:01 pm Post subject: |
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Dutchy wrote: | Frank Whittle invented the jet engine, shame that can't be used in motor racing. |
If you've tried NSR, Dutchy, you'll know that that'd be absolutely rubbish... _________________
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