The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer

[JawZ]

haaaar love it
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[mark-s]

vey nice spank

[Spanky_McCoy]

After the collapse of the Mad Laps Racing Series towards the end of 2010 McCoy has been looking for a new race series to participate in, with mixed results

Nascar
Pit boss: Well son y'see I needs to know how the car is handling, you got to let us know that so we can set the car up for ye.
McCoy: Jesus H Christ Cleatus I go fast and turn left how, go fast and turn left I could train a chimp to do it
Pit boss: Well some people say that some boys is shaved chimps that drive these here cars and they may be right
McCoy: Indeed..............get me out of the car

IndyCar
Pit boss: Well son I need to know how the car is handling, you got to let us know that so we can set the car up for you.
McCoy: Jesus H Christ Mario I go fast and turn left how, go fast and turn left I could train a chimp to do it
Pit boss: I wouldn't do that.
McCoy: Why the blazes not
Pit boss: We're on a street circuit you'll drive into the marina.
McCoy: Just as well you said.

DTM
Pit Manager: Herr McCoy ve have ze fastest Audi auto on ze grid you vill drive efficiently und visout ze razamatazz.
McCoy: You fill her up Fritz I'll chuck her round the circuit how about we leave the interaction at that eh.
Pit Manager: I am not liking ze impudence you vill obey.
McCoy: The last time a McCoy listened to a German he made Wienerschnitzel and sauerkraut flavour crisps, I don't intend to make the same mistake.
Pit Manager: Make the crisps?
McCoy: No let a german tell me how to drive a motor.

BTCC
Dudley: Alright I'm Dudley from eh Dudley and I'm your mechanic for today
McCoy: Where is the rest of my pit team
Dudley: Now Sir McCoy this is British Touring Car we're on ITV 11 after repeats of the Professionals and before repeats of The Saint
McCoy: Jesus how the mighty have fallen
Dudley: I know we used to be on ITV10 after repeats of Jeremy Kyle, right this is your car it's a ford fiesta popular plus, now I have prepared it for BTCC racing, you've got an onboard camera and your fuel filler cap has been locked, the stereo is a bit dodgy so don't move it from Classic FM.

2 laps into a 3 lap race McCoy has managed to flip his fiesta onto its roof after an angry exchange of bumper slams with Jason Plato's Chevy

McCoy: Dudley
Dudley: Y'alright Sir McCoy
McCoy: No, I quit.

Ten minutes later a bunch of kids start rocking the fiesta so McCoy can climb out, as he crawls out to jeers from the crowd his mobile phone rings.

McCoy: Ahh hello Bernie how does it go old bean
Ecclestone: Look McCoy I don't really want to ask this question but some observers think that F1 could do with some va va voom or something like that.
McCoy: Not wrong there old bean.
Ecclestone: So how about coming to F1, you busy right now?.
McCoy: No not really Bernie, just out for a wander.
Ecclestone: I'm watching ITV11
McCoy: Oh, ehm, The Professionals on?
Ecclestone: No BTCC, Plato was out of line by the way
McCoy: Wasn't he the bleeding big nosed tosser.

Will McCoy make it back to F1 after the unpleasantness
Will McCoy be able to find any former team mates
Will McCoy be able to find the car park at Knockhill.

Find out maybe one of these in the next crashtastic episode of The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer
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[Spanky_McCoy]

Sunday 5th of June 2011, Cheese and Middenrat are sitting in the garden having sunday tea with McCoy

Cheese: You know something that always irritated me about you McCoy
McCoy: My devilish good looks?
Cheese: No
McCoy: The gadgets?
Cheese: No
McCoy: All the totty that hangs around me?.
Cheese: No I liked that actually, no it's all the attempts to kill everyone it got really tiresome for everyone else you know.
McCoy: Oh come on I wasn't really trying was I, do you think if the head of a multinational arms dealing corporation was really trying to kill you that you wouldn't be dead, got a sniper on you right now.
Middenrat: We've got two on you.
McCoy: I've got three on them, top trumped old bean.
Middenrat: Yeah sorry the foie gras goes right through me.
McCoy: Anyway I invited you boys round here as I'm trying to get another racing series on the go, one of my sponsers for the race team is putting pressure on me to get promoting again.
Cheese: Sales of preparation h gone down again have they?.
McCoy: No cheesy old bean only thing as sure as death and taxes is piles.
Middenrat: Aint that the truth.
McCoy: .........indeed. Anyway boys seeing as that angry Scottish chap with the machete has disappeared with a pot of everyone elses loot the stadium is out of bounds so we have to find something else to do. Now I've already made some enquiries and no existing racing series will have us.
Cheese: What even the Norfolk professional lawnmower racing series.
McCoy: Nope
Middenrat: The Little diddle on the mound shopping trolley racing championship?.
McCoy: No, they even swore when I asked.
Cheese: Come on surely BTCC, they're desperate for some razamatazz.
McCoy: Ehm, unfortunately no.
Middenrat: He got caught with Vicki Butler Henderson in the Kestel Lager hospitality tent portaloo and well lets just say if his gear stick points anywhere near her again Dame McCoy would.....how did she put it?
McCoy: Chop it orf.
Cheese: Hmmm not nice.
McCoy: Anyway boys we need to think of something, before too long the little fans will be worshipping people like those boring F1 drivers. Lets go to my club for a couple of drinkies and we can brainstorm.

9 hours, 23 martinis, 7 pints of best and a bacardi breezer later......

McCoy: You know cheesy you're not that bad.........once you're a leetle bit pissed.
Cheese: Wha
McCoy: Never mind, oi rat put that strumpet down we aint finalised the plansh yet.

Middenrat removes his faces from the ample cleavage of Candy

Middenrat: Whassamatta.
Cheese: Plans
Middenrat: The plans, yeah the plans, what plans we nicking.
McCoy: No we're not doing that this time we're doing our own.
Middenrat: New direction I like it.
Cheese: Right sho, fast gt carsh, USA, cross country race, what we callin it?.
Middenrat: Cannonball Run.........well come on all Cheese did was rip off the film when he thought of it.
McCoy: ooh no out run.
Cheese: All you did was rip of sega when you thought of it.
McCoy:Yeah yeah, bar keep another round for me and my compadres, chop chop.

6 hours, 7 martinis, 2 absinthes and a can of vimto later.

Cheese: Eurrgghh, where am I.
Middenrat: Wha
Cheese: Where are we.
Middenrat: In an aston martin chief.
Cheese: I'm too drunk to drive.
Middenrat: You're too drunk to be attempting anything.

McCoy stumbles out of Koenigsegg parked in front of Cheese's Aston.

Cheese: oi posh boy we didn't drive did we?
McCoy: Wha, hang on (stumbles off rolling over the bonnet of his car)
Middenrat: Whats that noise.
Cheese: Whats that smell.
McCoy: (taps on window) yeah we did drive chaps.
Cheese: Jesus we'll be banged up for life
McCoy: Its ok we only drove onto the cargo plane.
Cheese: Where we going?.
McCoy: California.
Middenrat: Awww jesus no I've got a video to put back tomorrow.

Will Cheese be air sick?
Will Middenrat find the anadin and get Indiana Bones and Temple of Boob back to blockbuster in time?
Will JawZ escape the alien hunter chasing him through the forest of dean?
Will anyone else be at the Queen Mary for the start of the race?.

Find out at least one of those things next time in The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer.
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[Spanky_McCoy]

The nevada desert 4.43am, an armadillo slowly walks across the highway, the distant sound of thunder can be heard on the horizon, except that isn't thunder that is a combined 1,250hp rocketing down the road.

Cheese: You know it's not fair this rat.
Middenrat: What isn't.
Cheese: His car is faster than ours and he doesn't have a passenger.
Middenrat: We're still ahead of him of him though chief.
Cheese: That's only because he keeps stopping at every roadside strip bar and by the way this is a team effort you can't stop when you feel like it at every other roadside strip bar.
Middenrat: Well Cheese if a man can't spend his spare time with his face buried in mamms then what are we fighting for. Anyway you wanted to stop twice.
Cheese: A man has needs I like a set of bristols as much as the next chap.

a couple of miles back but gaining fast McCoy is in the Koenigsegg on the phone to the office.

McCoy: Yes, yes I know the weapons expo is coming up in Vegas I'm heading there right now, don't worry about it. Have you arranged a co-driver, I actually think I'm driving a shopping trolley to the moon right now.
Secretary: Yes Sir McCoy, Bunsen is flying in later today.
McCoy: What about JawZ, where is he at, he'd appreciate this jaunt more than Bunsen.
Secretary: The last news of him was that his chopper had been brought down and he was on foot evading an alien hunter.
McCoy: Wow, that sounds exciting. What about Bboy where is he?.
Secretary: He's in Chatanooga promoting his new book Bboy my life in the fastest lane. It's at the top of the New York Times bestseller list.
McCoy: Try and get Baino.
Secretary: Babysitting.
McCoy: Belial?
Secretary: Remand
McCoy: What about tred?.
Secretary: Just been drafted to the NFL.
McCoy: Bleeding eck, Bunsen it will have to be then. Hang on m'dear just coming up behind Scrumpy Jack and The Bristols Kid, will put you on hold.

McCoy's car draws alongside the Aston of Cheese and Middenrat, he rolls down the window.

Cheese: What's he saying?
Middenrat: I dunno, I'll roll down me window (BLAST) ooh hang on bit windy.
Cheese: No bloody wonder we're doing 200mph
Middenrat: Yeah hang on I'll phone him (rolls window back up) yeah what you want?
McCoy: Groupon is telling me It's two for one at Busty Bettys at the next exit.
Middenrat: Wahey, I'm there.
Cheese: Wait a minute, hold on it's a race we're not stopping (cheese receives a picture message saying "betty...scroll down") jesus check the jubblies on her, last one there gets the scrumpy.

Will Cheese go to any lengths to secure a free cider?.
Will Middenrat remember he is barred from all Busty Bettys in Nevada?.
Will McCoy remember to pick Bunsen up?.

Find out some of these highly charged exploits in the next tittytastic episode of The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer.
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[Spanky_McCoy]

McCoy is lying on the ground looking at the sky.

McCoy: oooh my head, better do the checks (testicles, wallet, firearms...1,2,3...and 4, gold fillings) where the hell am I. *stands up*. Right there are the rockies to my west, suns behind me so its afternoon and there is a small boy standing over there with a slingshot *THWACK*

several hours later

McCoy: oooh my head, better do the checks (testicles, wallet, no firearms and no gold fillings) where the hell am I.
Cheese: Hey, McCoy where did they catch you at.
McCoy: Fromage old bean, where the hell are we?.
Cheese: It's a very long story.
McCoy: Highlights please.
Cheese: Ok we stole your gravatonic engine you were showing off at Las Vegas.
McCoy: Shorter version.
Cheese: Stole engine, went wrong, massive crash, alternate reality, captured.
McCoy: Buggar
Middenrat: Not yet but that big fella was giving Cheesy the eye earlier.
Cheese: Yeah we need to get out of here.
McCoy: Does anyone know what they want?.
Middenrat: Well they appear to be a peaceful bunch who were angered by our two cars appearing from a wormhole and totally smashing a statue of their deity.
McCoy: Peaceful, peaceful one of the little bleeders did a David on my noggin.

Will McCoy, Cheese and Middenrat escape
Will anyone figure out what happened to McCoy's fillings
Will Middenrat tell Cheese and McCoy about the emergency packet of scampi fries he has secreted on his body

Find out at least one of these things on the next electrifying episode of The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer.
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[Spanky_McCoy]

Previously on The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer (nicked that from Lost)

Cheese likes boobs, Middenrat likes boobs and real ale, McCoy gets thrown out of a titty bar.

McCoy: Right boys I hate to say this but we need to do a huddle
Cheese: A what
Middenrat: At SpankyTech when the poop hits the snowblower we have a huddle to make it look like we're discussing what to do while the skipper escaped.
McCoy: No I'll actually have to make a plan this time, can't escape from this cave. Right boys lets do an inventory and see if we can make any rudimentary weapons.
Cheese: Like what.
McCoy: An Uzi....what do you think, a catapult, club something like that.
Middenrat: We could put out one of those torches and use the shaft as a club.
McCoy: That's the spirit old bean go on put it out.
Middenrat: With what?.
McCoy: I dunno pee on it or something.
Middenrat: I can't go in front of you two.
McCoy: I should hope not, we'll turn our backs.
Middenrat: Ok.......I can't I don't need to pee.
McCoy: Jesus wept (picks up a stone and whacks Rat on the back of the head) help, help, help our friend he's taken ill.
Cheese: I don't think he's going to be happy when he comes round.

20 mins later Cheese and McCoy are standing in front of the settlements elders, Middenrat is lying flat on his back after the guards made McCoy drag him with them.

McCoy: Oh great and mighty elders we ask that you release us poor travellers so that we may continue our pilgrimage to the east.
Cheese: (whispers) what the hell was that
McCoy: (whispers)You know my £30,000 a night resort in Papua New Guinea, how do you reckon I opened dialogue with them before I forced them out.
Elder 1: Traveller we have decided that before we let you go on your way you must complete a task for us.
Cheese: (whispers)oh buggar
McCoy: Uhm mighty elders what do you ask of us simple folk.
Elder 2: We want to have more of these boom sticks that unfortunately killed the village bull which provided us with all the milk to sustain us.
Cheese: (whispers)oh marvellous you've managed to bring mayhem and destruction to another dimension top job, how do you milk a bull.
McCoy:(whispers)you don't but do you want to tell them where they went wrong. Oh great and mighty elder I only had 4 of those boom sticks and you have taken them all.
Elder 3: KILL THEM
McCoy: Whoa betsy I never said I couldn't make any more of them, I just need all the equipment that came with us and I will be able to fabricate some more.

3 hours later Cheese and McCoy are back in the cave sifting through the wreckage of the two cars when Middenrat comes round.

Middenrat: What happened.
McCoy: Guard thought you were trying to pee on his sandals and he knocked you out.
Middenrat: Really.
McCoy: Yup
Middenrat: What's going on?.
McCoy: We've made a deal with the village elders to make some more guns for them they want to go to the next village and steal their bull for its milk.
Middenrat: You can't milk a bull.
Cheese: Do you want to tell them where they went wrong, no....didn't think so.
Middenrat: What's the plan then?.
McCoy: Right boys before the dimensional rift opened tell me exactly what was going on in your car.
Cheese: Right........we were doing 273mph, the gravatonic engine was at 3%.
McCoy: Got to be more than that, tell me everything.
Middenrat: Right....cheese was drinking a frappacino but he spilled it on the floor, he accidently turned up the stereo with his head when he tried to get the cup. I was wearing a brassiere as a helmet and patting the gravatonic engine.
McCoy: Right we'll need to recreate the conditions which opened the rift. What was on the stereo.
Cheese: Keep on loving you REO Speedwagon.
McCoy: Jesus.......how many times did you pat the engine rat old bean.
Middenrat: 3 times.

Will McCoy be able to build a new time machine from the wreckage?.
Will Middenrat be able to borrow a bra to wear as a helmet?
Will Cheese be able to make a frappacino and will he want to spill it?

Find out in the next episode of The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer.
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[Spanky_McCoy]

McCoy is deeply engrossed in trying to fix the stereo from the aston martin.

McCoy: It's no good this thing is more screwed than a filipino hooker on US Navy pay day.
Middenrat: So we're stuck here, god damn I had a big cask of home brewed ale almost ready for tapping.
McCoy: What that stuff that made me go blind for an hour at the 2004 Christmas party.
Middenrat: Stronger.
McCoy: If we do get back give me a bell can use that in the chemical weapons division.
Cheese: I'm not staying here, I've got a plan.
McCoy: I do the plans you just sit there and look worried.
Cheese: No really, why don't we create instruments from the wreckage and play Keep on Loving you ourselves?.
McCoy: Surely fixing a blaupunkt is easier than fabricating two guitars and a set of drums from the wreckage of an aston and a koenigsegg.
Middenrat: I dunno we haven't managed to fix the stereo yet.

Three hours, one cut thumb and a minor punch up later.

Middenrat: Right I'm on lead guitar
McCoy: I'll do drums
Cheese: But I'm a drummer.
Middenrat: But not a good one.

15 minutes one black eye and a slightly more serious punch up later

Middenrat: Right I'm on lead guitar
Cheese: I'm on bass
McCoy: I'm the drummer.

With that a guard enters the cave and instructs them to follow him to the settlements elders again.

Elder 1: Have you finished making us more boom sticks.
McCoy: Well your gracious most merciful highness we've just finished making the machines that make the weapons and we need to test them before making the weapons.
Elder 2: We will watch this test you speak of.
Cheese: Ehm I've never played in front of a crowd before it makes me nervous.
Middenrat: Shuttupyofacecheese.
McCoy: No problem give us half an hour then come down to the cave, you can't miss it, the one with all the swearing and petty bickering.
Elder 1: No you will come show us this test in the village square.
Cheese: *parp*

Will McCoy be able to get his high hat working just right
Will Middenrat be able to fight through the RSI and play the solo
Will Cheese be able to trust the next fart.

Find out most of those in the next rocktastic episode of The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer.
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[Spanky_McCoy]

In the year since McCoy, Cheese and Middenrat returned from the parallel dimension their album went triple platinum and they played 14 sold out concerts at the o2. The band split due to creative differences on the direction the music was going to take.

Friday 21st September 2012 McCoy is having lunch on his patio with his brother St John

Sinjun: Spanky old bean what adventures will you be getting yourself into this weekend, it's disappointingly quiet.
McCoy: How do you mean old bean, business is good, life is normal why would I want any excitement.
Sinjun: You've been to parallel dimensions, battled spaceships from the future, invaded Iceland. You can't seriously tell me you're happy with nothing going on.
McCoy: Look all that stuff I wasn't looking for it to happen it just happened.
Sinjun: Even invading Iceland?.
McCoy: Was an accident, meant to knock down the supermarket they were putting up next to Grandmamas summer residence and my security forces got it just a little bit wrong.
Sinjun: Anyway, what's on then trip to spearmint rhino, lunch with the PM.
McCoy: It's movie night, me and er indoors are watching the notebook.
Sinjun: Alright where is my brother and what have you done with him.
McCoy: What are you on about now.
Sinjun: You hardly ever spend any time with your wife and I doubt you even know how to turn your television on.
McCoy: Oh pish posh Sinjun, I'm slowing down old bean I can't keep living the high life.
Sinjun: Is there any booze in that orange juice.
McCoy: No.

*BANG* Sinjun shoots McCoy and his head explodes revealing a robotic skeleton.

Dame McCoy comes out from the conservatory.
Dame: How did you know Sinjun, was it the lack of booze.
Sinjun: Know what?
Dame: That he was a robot.
Sinjun: Oh no I was just getting bored with him the whole robot thing was a surprise.

Will Dame McCoy find the real Spanky
Will Sinjun empty his brothers wine cellar like his last visit
What the hell happened to everyone else

Find out some parts of that next time on the terminatortastic episode of The Adventures of Spanky McCoy Gentleman Racer
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[Spanky_McCoy]

The High Court London, Dame McCoy has gone to court to have McCoy legally declared dead.

Judge: Dame McCoy your husband has only been missing for a few months normally we'd have to wait some years before agreeing to declare someone legally dead. Is the information you have substantial enough to prove your husband is deceased without having a body.
Dame: Well if you look at the pie chart on page 3 *sobs* his favourite page you can clearly see that sales of Gordon's and Bombay gin have decreased a staggering 37% in the time period since my husbands last sighting.
Judge: That could simply be a decrease in popularity.
Dame: Normally I would agree but we witnessed the exact same change in sales figures when my husband was abducted by space chinamen from the future.
Judge: Space chinamen from the future, indeed. Do you have any witnesses to corroborate that he was indeed abducted by space chinamen from the future and hadn't just gone off gin for a while.
Dame: Well I do but I've also had trouble tracking down his two associates who assisted in his escape from the space chinamens spaceship.
Judge: Can you give me their names and I'll have warrants raised to have them brought here.
Dame: Ahh yes it's Bunsfield Jetson aka Bunsen and James Awesome aka Jawz.

meanwhile in a North Korean prison......

Interrogater: Sir Spanky you will give me the location of your secret weapons vault or I will only make the torture last longer.
McCoy: Bleeding eck you don't need to torture me just give me a gin and I'll fess up.
Interrogater: We not have gin here.
McCoy: I knew things were bad over here but come on, go on I bet chubs has got some up in his supreme leaders office place. Go on give him a bell and ask for some.
Interrogater *slaps McCoy across the face* you dare not show such disrespect to supreme leader when he is finished playing Call of Duty he will deal with you himself.
McCoy: Call of duty eh, bet he's a rage quitter too *slapped again*

Where are Bunsen and Jawz?
How did Spanky end up in North Korea?
Will Dame McCoy have him declared dead and sell all his pornography?.

Find out all this in the Chronicles of Spanky McCoy North Korean prisoner.
_________________

[Dantski]

[Spanky_McCoy]

[Spanky_McCoy]

May 31st 2013 120,000 feet above rural North Korea

JawZ: Breaker, breaker this is spankytech phantom approaching rendevouz co-ordinates.

120,000 feet below in a North Korean work camp food hall.

Bunsen: Roger await further instruction.
JawZ: Can't really wait they fired all seven of their air defence missiles, four missed and hit the south but three are still after me.
Bunsen: Well I'll try and crack on but finding an alcoholic British lord of the realm in a north korean work camp is proving surprisingly difficult.

McCoy is wandering through a recreation area when Bunsen catches up with him.

Bunsen: Put this jacket on, quick don't ask questions we're up against it here.
McCoy: Bunsen saints be praised why are you here.
Bunsen: I haven't been in an episode for a while and people are wondering where I was. Quick put the bloody jacket on.
McCoy puts the jacket on and Bunsen pulls a toggle on the back causing a balloon to rapidly ascend skywards.
McCoy: What the hell is that for do you want them to come and beat us across the soles of our feet or something?.
Bunsen: No the balloon goes up Jawz flies in and catches the balloon with the spankytech phantom and we shoot up in the air and the hell out of here.
McCoy: It won't work.
Bunsen: Yeah it will JawZ said you and him extracted a Bolivian general friend of yours from prison the very same way.
McCoy: Well we extracted everything above the hips put it that way, plane is too quick old bean it'll rip us a new one.
Bunsen: Buggar, take the jacket off quick.
JawZ: On approach
Bunsen: Abort, abort go to plan b.
McCoy: Plan b?.

Just as McCoy questions the master plan a missile streaks past and blows a very big hole in the perimeter wall.

Bunsen: Leg it.

Will McCoy and Bunsen manage to run the 400 miles to the border and cross the biggest minefield in the world.
Will JawZ get home in time for tea.
Will we find out how and why Jawz and Bunsen came to find McCoy.

Find out maybe one of those next time on the Adventures of Sir Spanky McCoy Gentleman and international fugitive.
_________________

[JawZ]

christ im still featuring in these adventures...
_________________

[Dale Earnhardt]

[Spanky_McCoy]

[Spanky_McCoy]

10 days have passed since McCoy and Bunsen ran for it from the North Korean prison camp. JawZ managed to evade not only the North Korean air defenses but the considerably more substantial and better equipped South Korean defenses as well, he went home for a week but remembered he'd left his associates running through a hostile country being chased by literally everyone in it. One supply drop later and McCoy has managed to have a shave and some gin, his body odour is still rather ripe though. We catch up with McCoy and Bunsen as they hide in a cave from patrols.

Bunsen: For the last effing time I am not sharing body heat with you.
McCoy: Go on, I'm freezing.
Bunsen: I'd rather go back to that camp.
McCoy: Miserable git, well take my mind off our current predicament, what has been happening back in blighty?.
Bunsen: Well mad he went to anger management and then joined a buddhist temple in Glasgow.
McCoy: Bloody hell and he was always an angry so and so, what about his brother the psychotic track builder?.
Bunsen: Andy, oh well they got him to design the new circular around London.
McCoy: Really, how did that go?.
Bunsen: Court case is end of July.
McCoy: Oh, what about my old sparring partner Cheese.
Bunsen: Fell foul of deceny laws when his niche porn empire went too niche. His scrumpy is selling well though, is sponsoring the scottish third division now.
McCoy: Bloody hell, well done Cheesy, never liked his scrumpy his jazz mags were alright though, that one big asses and bristols was good.
Bunsen: The olympic issue won a pulitzer prize for literature.
McCoy: What about Bboy did his dream come true did he get to nascar.
Bunsen: Well he did but everyone couldn't keep up so they accused him of cheating and banned him.
McCoy: Bit of a rum do that. How is dan doing?.
Bunsen: Went back to the strippogram circuit, he's currently appearing in big brother which funnily enough is where thug and steve are. Ratings have never been higher apparently, the how to rob a bank discussion is apparently the highest watched video on youtube after gangnam style and our 2010 christmas party.
McCoy: Oh the suzy perry one, ah yes fond memories which helped me through many a lonely night in that prison. What about the ball and chain is she missing me.
Bunsen: Well that's why we came to find you, she is trying to have you declared legally dead so she can take control of the empire.
McCoy: The witch I've only been gone a few months.
Bunsen: Worse than that you know who has been taking her out for lunch a lot?.
McCoy: Who, tell me who damn it.
Bunsen: Only the rat.
McCoy: Ye gods I know his plan, she doesn't have an inkling what I really do, she thinks we own a kia dealership in runcorn and I do really well at selling them. That crafty beggar is going to get me declared legally dead, marry the dozy mare and then take control of my business concerns.
Bunsen: The devious swine, you obviously did rub off on him.
McCoy: Hey that's how rumours start. Let's get JawZ back here with something that can do vertical take off and landing, I'm going to foil his intricate devious plan with an even more intricate and devious plan.
Bunsen: Can't you just shoot him.
McCoy: Jesus wept Bunsen how many times do we have to go over this.

Will Middenrats fiendish plan succeed
Will JawZ find the keys for the SpankyJumpJet
Will Bunsen tell McCoy about the emergency bottle of gin

Find out at least one of those in the next catch up tastic episode of The Adventures of Sir Spanky McCoy Gentleman racer and international fugitive.
_________________

[da dude 24]

I'm so glad every now and then I come here this story has been updated

[JawZ]

bboy still waaiting but does he still check, wonders
_________________

[Dale Earnhardt]